• asmae zq

Your better life starts now

Updated: Nov 16

A lot of people including me and you spend a lot of time thinking and worrying about things that are useless, spending most of the time in their heads looking for the unfounding s*** like thinking of a pink elephant wearing a blue coat while riding a motorcycle around the room.

Sure you need that ME time to understand where you're standing in your life, and what are your goals in life are, and if you have an issue, you try to handle it by thinking of some answers or some easy way to fix it. However, it doesn't have to be 8 hours of your day and every day.

To be honest I have been an overthinker my whole life, thinking about the past and my old reactions, thinking of hundreds of probabilities of how things would be if I took another decision of the same old situation.

For example, I got into a situation where I blocked the way of a woman in the supermarket. Obviously, I wouldn't do that on purpose, you can call it a naive accident.

And the woman behind me was holding heavy stuff, so by "accident" I blocked her way and I stepped on her foot!

Her reaction wasn't pleasant of course. It was even worse. She was very aggressive and almost attacked me like I did something extremely horrible. What I did at the exact same moment and without thinking was apologize and asked her if she wasn't hurt, but unfortunately, she insulted and yelled at me, but even that I apologized a second time and left.

I didn't think of the situation right away but when I got home I felt worthless because she kind of disdained me, I felt disappointed because of the way she reacts even though I apologized twice, guilty because I thought that I did a very bad thing to her and I should've apologized for more, angry because I didn't deserve to be treated that way and I should've said that she's overreacting and she should calm down because simply I stepped on her foot by accident and I should've treated her the same way or just act like I didn't see her and don't care. I have been thinking of it the whole night and every night before sleeping for a goddamned week.

However, it wasn't worth it because it did happen, and thinking of it wouldn't change anything I’ve been just stressing myself. I thought if I keep thinking of it I will get an answer, but it was a preoccupied mind. And with what?

with 99% of useless thoughts.

What I am trying to say is, overthinking about the past or worrying about the future won't change anything it will only make your life complicated. You are just gonna miss the most important thing which is having a happy life.

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”

William James

In other words; you have the ability to decide what you think of or you can choose NOT to think. It’s a skill.

You must learn and practice what you think of and how to get out of your head and live in reality if you have a problem or should I simply say an unanswered question doesn't keep thinking of it all the time.

What're the thoughts that you shouldn't think about? I'll give you an example:

“I wonder what my boss thinks?”

“What happens if I screw up and lose my job?”

“I think he doesn’t care about me.”

“I just keep failing.”

“Why does my life suck?”

“What if I get cancer?”

“I don’t care about my job. Is there something wrong with me?”

“I can’t finish anything. What’s wrong with me?”

Then you are going to say, what should I think about?

There are plenty of ways to learn how to stop thinking of useless thoughts;

The first one is meditation. That's where it starts, let your brain rest for a second. Step outside yourself and just observe the crazy shit you’re thinking about. It's a way to Awareness.

“We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.”

Sheryl Sandberg

If you want to change your life, you need to change your thinking. An alternative to changing your thinking by controlling it is to focus on becoming more aware of your thoughts instead, how?

Try to feel your eyes reading the letters on your screen, feel your phone in your hand, take a walk in nature and let yourself be a part of it, feel the air inside your lungs. Simply you just need to notice.

Secondly; thinking about how you can solve problems. And like I already mentioned, a problem is just an unanswered question, it's not that complicated. You can just learn some methods on how to deal with daily problems. Understand and internalize knowledge and think about how you can use that knowledge to improve your life, career, work, relationships.

And let me tell you the most powerful tool on earth is your BRAIN so use it.

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