The right decisions aren't always right
The right decisions are always hard to make!
I heard this expression more than I can remember. I say it to myself whenever I have a decision to make, and I always read it, in books, articles, quotes, and even T-shirts. What I have learned from my previous experiences, decisions are hard to make anyway whether they are right or wrong. I’m an indecisive person and when I have a decision to make I have to read plenty of articles about how to make the right decision but none of that shit helps.
Spending decades trying to make the right decision yet 4 months later it appears that it wasn't the right choice. well! That famous expression is not a good one for me.
When you make a decision, and of course after a decade of thinking, consulting, and analyzing the situation, the decision seems right, but the only right thing is that you finally take it together and do something about it. will! you think you did the right thing, but no.
The mental state you were in at the moment you took that decision isn’t the same after taking it. And after 6 months or a year, your mindset changes, the situation changes, and the circumstances too. So what was right back then is no longer right at the present moment.
Now I face another hard decision. I'm exhausted thinking about it. I wrote down all the possibilities. I weigh the pros and cons of every single possibility and I still can't make the right decision, and I won't find the right one. I don't know if you're expecting some kind of steps, rules, or ways that could help you make the right decision, like clear your mind, find peace in space, or feel the fear and do it anyway, they are good ways though. However, I'm a realistic person. Even psychiatrists and the wisest people panic while taking a serious decision and honestly I have nothing to give as advice because I too don't know what's the right thing to do if you are in a critical situation.
Nothing lasts and everything is permanent. what's right, at this moment in time won't be right later, and what seems wrong, right now might be right later or after a while, simply because we can't predict the future based on some assumptions or estimations, and we can't ask for advice since what worked for others won't work for you, or it may! who the hell knows.
5 months ago I made a decision, I thought it was the right decision. I calculated every probable situation, I made up various scenarios as I tried to predict the exact outcome of each option. My mind spirals into a state of panic. If things don’t work out as intended, I'll look back at that decision and pick it apart, thinking: “Oh if only I had done that instead" but wait! what if I pick the other decision and it comes out even worse, will I say the same thing about the previous unpicked decision. I don't know and I don't even want to think about these confusing indecisive decisions.
The only right thing is that you will get confused whenever you try to make a decision, it's like a lottery you just play along and wait. you made the decision and you wait for what will happen later, as long as you have the belief that you're going to be able to face whatever you face, that's the right decision.
As I said, nothing lasts, and you will move on with either the right decision or the wrong one, but you sure learn something. Unfortunately, you learn something that has nothing to do with what you faced, but it's okay it's life. Some people say that there is no need to worry — because whatever choice you make, you have nothing to lose. Only something to gain.” yet we do lose a lot! we lose our shit while worrying since we can't help doing the opposite, we lose our time, we lose our energy, and sometimes we lose money. So I have to disagree.
Recalling my old decision-making, I don't know what I learned exactly, I did learn something obviously but it doesn't help in the current situation.
Even though I don't have a spectacular history of my decision-making, I must say that there are times where I made the right decisions, of course after doing some research, analyzing the situation, paying attention to the signs, and following my intuition. However, when emotions are involved, things get literally messed up.
According to research decision-making is controlled by reasons, senses, memory, cultures & beliefs, experiences, and emotions. But the role of emotions goes way deeper than these knee-jerk responses. Emotions allow us to make the right decisions, such as what to wear or whether to drink tea or coffee on Sunday afternoon. But when it's survival, making choices under the influence of emotions can seriously affect the outcome.
Emotions such as anger, frustration, depression, and stress can have a serious impact on our decision-making, and we always regret the decisions based on those negative feelings.
For example? when you feel angry about someone or something, the first thing that happens is, you lose control, your body starts increasing the production of Testosterone and Cortisol, which makes you more
impulsive, aggressive, and stressed, the responsible areas for reasons, senses and beliefs shuts down and you only focus on anger and old negative memories that have made you angry before. - Eventually, you will punch the hell of the guy in front of you. So regardless of your decision, small or big, hard or simple? it won’t be the right decision, and worst, it will have a fatal outcome you may regret for the rest of your life.
If you ask me for advice on how to make a decision I’ll give you 3 steps. and remember! the right decision doesn’t always remain right:
1-Take your time and don’t ever rush.
2-Try to see things from different angles, and don’t overthink.
3- Use all areas of your brain to analyze the situation and make a balanced decision. (reason - experiences - senses - memory - emotion - beliefs)